Eye of the Tiger, Pan-flutes, hernias and hysteria....

I went for a cheap massage today it was heaven! The only problem was when I was on the table being rubbed into a gooey heap by a young Chinese male masseuse, this music started playing and it gave me the giggles. And you know me… once I get started…

The music was one of those cheesy Asian imitations of Chariots of Fire. As soon as the badly synthesized string section kicked in mixed with a Casiotone styled Bossa Nova drum beat, I couldn’t help myself. I started smiling… then my smile turned into a chuckle… and as the music became more and more dramatic (boom boom chuckka chukka – da da da da daaaaa daaaaaa, boom boom chukka chukka) I ended up just losing it in a fit of giggles.

My poor masseuse didn’t know what was going on. He must have thought he was tickling me and that was why I was laughing, so he started massaging my lower back even harder, which was getting painful, but I was laughing so hard by this stage, I couldn’t tell him.

By now, the song has hit full crescendo (since when did Chariots of Fire have bird noises and a synthesized guitar solo??). It started to sound like the London Symphony Orchestra had all had a hit on a crack pipe and were in the room with us, playing stoned. Meanwhile my little Chinese man is about to bust a hernia using all his strength to pound the crap out of this chick on his table, inexplicably laughing her ass off. Picturing the scenario made me even more hysterical. The poor guy didn’t know what to do so kept going, harder and harder. I was soon a beaten, broken mess on the table, choking red and unable to breath, tears streaming down my face, into the hole in the table and forming a pool underneath me. Finally the song finished and I was able to draw breath.

The masseuse stopped the torture and excused himself sweating and breathing heavily, to get a drink of water. I was thinking to myself how this was the best $20 and 20 minutes of the funniest shit ever as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Finally with my hysterical fit well and truly over, I relaxed back down and my exhausted but undefeated masseuse came back into the room to start on my neck…

Then the next song started… Eye of the Tiger with pan-flutes… oh dear god…

Never washing my head again!!!!

All I can say is wow. Last night, not only did I go to an absolutely kick ass concert by Ben Folds, but I got to meet and hang out with the guy. I will try to get all of this down, because I still have to pinch myself that it all really happened!

Two days before the concert, my sis contacted the Palais Theatre about a possible 'meet & greet' with Ben. Not holding out much hope, the day of the concert arrived with no response from Sammys emails. At 2pm, I had resigned myself to not meeting the man and got ready for the concert. I was just so excited about seeing him live.

Dad rang at 3pm saying he had just spoke to Sam and she still had not heard from anyone, so a little disappointed but still exited I jumped in the shower and got ready. Unable to accept defeat Dad made a phone call to Frontier Touring to see if there was anything they could do. Dad rang me back about 5 minutes later and asked if I had some nice eye make-up?? When I asked him why… he said "Because you are going to meet Ben Folds tonight". I lost my fucking mind! We were going to be taken back-stage after the concert and Ben wanted to meet me. I screamed and then cried ... lots.

After the a mind-blowingly great concert with just Ben, a grand piano and two hours of incredible music, the lights went up and dad got a call from Gerard and down to the lobby we went. Gerard was a lovely guy with a big smile who shook our hands, gave us both back stage passes and off we went, back through the theatre, through the stage doors to the back of the stage full of roadies and sound gear. Dodging cables and low doorways we made our way through a maze of corridors into a waiting empty dressing room.

The whole way there I was telling Gerard how nervous I was, but he insisted it was unnecessary as Ben was such a good guy and that they were happy to be able to be able to do this for me. He offered us both a water and returned with a couple of bottles for us while we waited for Ben to arrive. We didn’t wait long. Ben walked in, cool as a cucumber with a beer in his hand. He walked straight up to me and gave me a big hug. I couldn’t believe it!! I said it was such an honour to meet him. Ben said it was cool and he was pleased to be there as he shook Dad's hand. He was totally relaxed and really happy to be talking to us. I was surprised that the 4 of us were the only people in the room. He was totally there for us!

We talked about how awesome the concert was. He thanked us but said he'd made some stuff ups. He'd just come from doing two nights at the Sydney Opera House using a Steinway grand piano, which he had liked and gotten used to. He felt all out of whack when he played the piano here, which explains why he was mucking around with the piano stool during his concert. He made a comment like “something's wrong with my stool” and the audience laughed at the 'poo' reference. I told him you couldn’t tell that he had made any errors and that the crowd was really interactive and just loved him regardless. Then I said “besides, it gives you an opportunity to say fuck". He laughed, then realising my dad was ok with the swearing, he said he “fucked up” a couple of times, which was cool.

I asked if he was classically trained, as his piano performance blew us away. He said he plays by ear (after mentioning his musical start was in bass guitar and drums – he didn’t even sit at a piano till he was 23). He said he hears the melody in his head and he bangs it out on the piano until the tune sounds the way it does in his head, which was fascinating. He is such a prodigy.

Dad thanked Ben and said how much this meant to me after the rough year I had so far. I noticed that he was looking at me when Dad was saying that and I was looking down and I agreed that this was the best thing that had happened to me this year. He said he was more than happy and then mentioned that I looked great considering (he said on two separate occasions how good I look which was so sweet).

Ben talked about his father-in-law going through chemo and I said that my hair was growing back with a vengeance. I took off my head scarf to show him. He said “Ooh, can I touch it?” and I was like “Sure go for it!” and I bent my head in his direction and he RUBBED MY HEAD!! "It's so soft!" he said, which made us all laugh. It was so weird hanging with the guy, like he was an old mate!

I told him he is always welcome to come and stay with us if he ever heads over to Wanaka and he said he'd love to (imagine the sing along around the piano!). Then this guy Shannon from Fontier Touring said he wanted to get a couple of photos, so Ben put his arm around me and I did the same and we had two photos taken. I was beaming, as you can see!!

We talked about heaps of stuff, from his wife Fleur getting her helicopter license, to his passion for photography. He was so chatty and amiable and kept smiling at me. Finally, Ben said he’d like to see me again soon or something like that and I said, "Problem is I won’t be sick then, I’ll be all better!". He just laughed and said “that’s cool make up some shit and come see me backstage again” and gave me another big hug. Ben was incredibly humble and really didn’t seem in a hurry to leave at all, considering he had just done a gruelling 2 hour solo performance. He was totally calm, funny, kind, warm, smelt great and was affectionate and reassuring.

Thanks to Sammy, Dad, Gerard and Shannon at Frontier Touring and of course, thanks to Ben. You have made this girl very, very happy. This is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and means so much considering the shitty year I've had so far. I am so blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So excited!

I am so incredibly excited. Tomorrow night I am finally going to see my idol in the flesh at the Palais Theatre in St Kilda. Yep… its BEN FOLDS!!!! As soon as I saw he was coming to Melbourne I jumped online and boughts ticket for Dad and myself. Although the purchase rendered me broke for the next fortnight I know he’s gonna be worth every penny.

Dad loved ‘Whatever and Ever, Amen’ so much he used to take it to work with him (the coolest Dad) so I knew he’d be stoked I bought him a ticket too. Besides… it’s nice to be able to do something with Dad that doesn’t involve hospitals and cancer stuff for once.

Ben Folds and I seem to have been crossing paths for many years now, but finally I am in the right place at the right time to see him, kinda ironic considering the year I have had!!

I had a small epiphany yesterday when I was raving to the folks about the brilliance that is Mr Folds. I realised that I have been listening to him for nearly 15 years! (age denial is a wonderful thing). His music has been a real constant in my life though not always at the forefront… more like a background theme, like the ‘musical score’ to the film of my life so far. The man is a genius. If any of you haven’t heard of him, you are missing out. If you love amazing jazz/rock styled piano, stunning harmonies (ELO & Supertramp would be impressed) catchy and gorgeous melodies and some of the sweetest most profound lyrics of our generation, ch-ch-check him out.

You may know him from the song Brick which was a bit of a commercial hit years ago (“She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly”). Also his rendition of “Bitches Aint Shit” is frigging hilarious! So do yourself the favour.

Anyway, I digress …

Radiotherapy is racing through now. I am officially in Week 6 as of tomorrow and I can't wait to finish. The side effects are really kicking in now and I just want this phase over so I can concentrate on the next phase... Hormone Therapy.

Sadly, we need to shut down my reproductive system over the next 5 years, as my cancer cells are attracted to the estrogen in my body. At absolute worst I may need to have a hysterectemy.. at best I will be rendered chemically menopausal (yes, with all the shitty symptoms of menopause) for 5 years. Not fun at all as we just don't know if we will be able to re-start my system when all of this is done. The thought of not being able to have children weighs heavily on my mind. This is just not cool stuff for a single 32 year old to have. Sigh!

I am so over all of this to be honest. I am sick of it all. I am sick of hospitals. I am sick of worrying. I am sick of.... well... being sick. I just want my life back!!

On a happier note, I am generally in good spirits. My hair is growing back with a vengeance and it's a glorious sunny day in Melbourne.

Gonna run now, love to you all as always. Thanks so much for the continued love and support. You are truly the wind beneath my wings (bleck!)

xxxx

p.s Ben’s a wicked photographer too. Check out some of his photos on Twitter… especially the ones where he has used infra-red film. They are amazing.

p.p.s I have to report that CHRISTIAN SLATER is following ME on Twitter! I don't think he really knew what he was doing.. he had about 400 fans following him on there and he went through and clicked to 'follow' all of us! So he is getting updated every time I post a tweet. Hilarious!