Breast Cancer? Breast Schmancer!

Hi Everyone,

Well, today wasn't exactly fun filled. It was the first appointment with my Medical Oncologist. Looks like I will be starting Chemo in 2-3 weeks, we are just waiting for the surgery bits and pieces to heal. For those interested in the medical terminology here goes:

- Its Stage 2 cancer

- Hormone Reception Positive

- HER2 gene Negative

We are looking at 3 months treatment "AC" Chemo (I can't even say the full spelling of the name let alone type it). This just was the best option for me. Would rather face Leukemia and a weakened heart (along with nausea, risk of infection, blood transfusions, risk of infertility etc) than the other option which has the above risks along with an 80% chance of complete infertility and that treatent goes for 6 months. Really had to pick the lesser of two evils. Not much of a selection eh.

My hair will fall out within first week of Round 1 of chemo (eyebrows and lashes included.. great! I am going to look like fucking Neo from Matrix.... just not as hot as Keanu...). Bascially you can head to the Cancer Society website and check out the info there on Chemo... but it's not pretty.

They want to send me to a Geneticist when all of this is over, due to the rarity of breast cancer at my age, in fact, here's a fascintating statistic for y'all.

Out of 1,000 women; 125 will be disgnosed with breast cancer. Of those 125 women, 8 will be under 40 years old.

See.... I am special!!!

I have an appointment with a Fertility Specialist at the Womens Hospital Monday, but we don't know if we have time to harvest / freeze any eggs (even though I want this very badly) prior to commencing Chemo, so I will probably just have to buy a baby on ebay.

After the chemo I will be having Radiotherapy, then 5 years of Hormone treatment. The cancer is most likely to try to return within the first 2-3 years, but we'll talk about that stuff later.

Sorry guys, I got nothing tonight. This has been exhausting today and I just don't have it in me to even try to be funny. Thought the picture above was fricken hilarious though... so that will have to suffice for today.

Thanks so much to Steve and Catriona for the "music" gift card... you know me so well. I will be downloading some tunes tonight. Thanks for the beautiful thoughts and words. Massive love and appreciation from me to you.

I will try to post again this week, as I actually had a wonderful surprise over the weekend and a great weekend to boot (funny photos included) and I absolutely must put them up here, just don't have the energy right now.

Miss you and love you all.

Ems xxx

When I have a baby, it's gonna be a metal head just like it's momma!! F*CK YEAH

p.s yes I am aware of the irony of being a metal head and posting above a blog where I state I want to stalk Josh Groban... for those who didn't know, he's a metal head too.

Peace :)

Updates on non-cancer related stuff

OK people first things first. I can deal with cancer. I can pretty much deal with whatever shit hand I am dealt. In fact God, Buddah, Satan and L. Ron Hubbard could all collectively do a giant crap on my head from the heavens and I would just throw my hands in the air and say "probably shouldn't have been standing there... totally my fault!". BUT THIS?? Noooooooooooooooo!!

It has just been reported on the ever reliable PerezHilton.com that my man, Josh Groban (pictured) is dating Katy Perry (that "I kissed a Girl" monkey).

I hope and live with baited breath that this is a cruel rumour or that I am having a bad come-down from all the morphine and am in some drug induced stupor/medically induced coma, from which I shall awake and breathe a sigh of relief that it was all a bad dream. How the hell can I get through all this, move to LA and stalk his ass if he is dating someone else??

Ok, enough ranting and raving, I am starting to sound like a lunatic (I know, I know... too late lol). Enough of me, here's some messages for everyone:

KATIE PIE - hope you have landed safe in Vancouver. I am still waiting for the call to let me know you are ok/happy/excited and that you have already lined up the hockey team (personal joke people).

KITTY - missing you baby!

RUTHIE - good luck with your exams babes. When I become rich and famous, you can fly Josh and I to our Wanaka mansion in our helicoper anytime!!

SCOTTY - Cuz, you fell out of a fucking tree?? We are sooooo related. Hope you mend quickly and that it is medically proven that beer is indeed the best pain relief.

JO & MICHELLE - welcome Annabelle to the world. She has been born into the most loving family anyone could ever wish for.

MICK - hope your back surgery was a complete and utter success. Sending all my love to you both.

MARK B (baby deluxe) - thanks for being my soul mate and putting up with me.

SAM & GARETH - what can I say.. words won't really suffice. I am so blessed.

LEON - you are an incredible friend, thanks for "The Mighty Boosh" thanks for the chocolates today and for calling/texting me every day since this has happened. Your unwavering friendship and support is overwhelming. You fricken rock dude!

That's all I have today people. Am too depressed to talk anymore. Gonna go to my room, listen to Josh on itunes and drown my sorrows in a very, very strong orange cordial.

Peace

xx

Out of Surgery

Hey Guys,

Well, I am finally out of the hospital and back at Sam and Gareth's with my ass firmly planted on the couch. I'm black and blue, sore and tired, but generally in good spirits. I guess you could say that the operation went well. My surgeon, Cathy, is incredible... in fact, everyone at the whole Peter MacCallum Cancer Hospital is bloody awesome!

Yes (for those who know me well) I DID hit on the hot anesthetist... I couldn't help myself, he was super cute and he held my hand the whole time ... sigh! Ahem, back on track Emma.

Actually, everyone from the nursing staff to the surgeons were unbelievable. They took amazing care of me and I rested assured I was in the best hands possible. Oh yeah, the Ward Nurse enjoyed hanging out with me so much, she's coming to the Terminus Bar for Bingo, when I am up for it :)

I can't bear to look at the breast at the moment, so I won't report too much on that at this point.

They ended up removing three lymph nodes instead of one and I have a whopping great scar from that and what looks like a bucket load of stitches under all those dressings...ewwww.

Sam and Gareth were with me when I woke up from surgery last night and they have both enjoyed regaling me today with stories of my eyes rolling back in my head and speaking in tongues (gotta love Morphine). After the exorcism, I mostly just slept.

Laughs aside, Sam and Gareth have been incredible and held my hand until the last possible minute... although it was a little embarrassing when Security had to pry Sammy's fingers off my ankles in the Operating Theatre and drag her out to the waiting room, kicking and screaming .... bit of a spectacle really..... (love you Sammy xxx)

To be honest, it was a fricken long and painful day/night/morning but I am here, on the flipside, with you lovely bastards.. and the operation has saved my life, like it or not.

We expect to get the biopsy results on Wednesday. That will let us know the finer details like what stage the cancer is at, if it has spread to the blood stream, if there are hormones attached etc. This information allows my Oncologist team to plan the Chemo for me.

After Chemo comes the Radiotherapy. As fas as I know, this will involve 45 minute, daily sessions ..... which sounds like a fricken blast....... oh crap... no pun was intended!

Hey didn't you know Radiotherapy is sooooooo 2009... it's gonna be all the rage!

Thank god for the ipod is all I can say!! For at least an hour a day, I will be filling my head with my own musical concoction ranging from Nessum Dorma (Pavarotti), Revelry (Kings of Leon) and a whole lotta Tom Waits or Depeche Mode (mood depending lol).

Who knows, next week it may be a fucking 70's disco revival :)

So, I shall now disappear into a haze of Oxycontin (or Hilbilly Heroin as it's known as in LA) and feel a little sorry for myself...... just because I am allowed to.

Love to you all.

xxxx

Hi Everybody,

Thanks for coming and welcome to my blog.

I figured this was a pretty cool way to keep in touch with y'all, so I hope to log in daily with written blogs and video posts (depending on my mood). Please leave me comments, start fights, write poems... whatever floats your boat.

This blog is for you guys as much as it is for me and... oh... I don't know... do whatever the hell you want to!!

I hope you can all share this experience with me and laugh lots and cry occasionally too (I know I will cry when I have to shave my head - big girls blouse) *sings "It's my Party and I'll Cry if I want to" *

This is a safe space people. I want your jokes, your frustrations, your questions, your thoughts, your smiling faces and most importantly..... your SOULS!!! Mwhahaaaaaaa Mwahahaaaahaha.

So anyway, welcome to F*CK THE LUMP.

Peace Out